And then there is that damn guitar.

Have I ever known how to play a guitar? Or sing? I am sure I have not (in this mortal life)...and yet my passion for it baffles even my self. Particularily as I have very little aptitude for it.

My only point is about this multiple life business. Specifically, that, for each break-through, I have stronger and stronger memories of some TIME previously, before, when I COULD play a guitar.

And then I think, "Holy Smokes! What happened?? How did I...forget??"

Then I look down at my crippled-and-struggling hands, and this shiver runs through me. For this part I remember more clearly: Playground Incidents. Boyhood Accidents. Meanies....it was really, really hard to make it into this world, I recall.

So that just leaves me in this...state...of like...I dunno. Awe. Speechlessness -- can't you tell?

WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON?????

I really have no idea. Are we all just baby-prodigies, learning to be mortal? And also, what about this contract-with-God we've got?

I mean the deal we made to get born.

Let's say we WERE just enlightened spirits. I think it would be good times, no trouble. We would be One. My theory is that just gets (would get) boring! With no observer, the observed would feel nothing but loneliness. Bummer right. SO, we divide ourselves so as to really, really GET IT ON with our lover...hahaha(which is only our self!)

So then, I postulate, we must do this complex childhood thingie to really pound the idea of duality into ourselves. I mean, fucking nails, pain. Pound it in. THEN, once we are damn near worthlessly disfigured beyond god-hood, we introduce the golden elixir of sexuality, this notion that we may be LOVED by another, hell, that we may even physically JOIN with them. Round about age 12-15? And then we just let the whole mess go its course. Like wooo-hooo...what...is...going...to...happen!?!?!

WHOEVER THOUGHT OF THIS IS A NUT-CASE!! They are BRILLIANT! INSANE! BRILLIANT! ARRGGHHH!